timfluhr.org
tim is lose
transcript of a t-mobile support chat
Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
You have been connected to ^Dana J.
^Dana J: Hi Tim , welcome to T-Mobile live Chat. I’m ^Dana and I will be happy to assist you. Please give me a moment to review your question.
^Dana J: Tim please give me two minutes to review your account.
^Dana J: Tim I see you have been a loyal member since 2003 and we really appreciate that.
tim fluhr: why thank you
^Dana J: I see your screen has stopped working what a shame.
^Dana J: I know you want to see you incoming and outgoing calls.
^Dana J: I will be happy to assist you. Tim.
^Dana J: When did this problem start?
tim fluhr: last evening
tim fluhr: while the phone was connected to the charger
^Dana J: Okay can you remove your battery please?
tim fluhr: when it finished charging i removed it and had no touchscreen response
tim fluhr: sure
tim fluhr: the battery is out
^Dana J: You can reinstall it now please and touch your screen to see if it is working.
tim fluhr: it is not working
tim fluhr: i did a hard reset last night also, and am stuck at the setup screen
^Dana J: Okay
tim fluhr: asking me to touch the droid, which i can't do because the touch functionality isn't working
^Dana J: Please dial *#06# from your handset and let me know what number comes back.
^Dana J: Can you tell me the color of your liquid indicator which is under your battery please?
a conversation with a coffee jerk
Me: Can I have a grande coffee?
Barista: I don't know what a grande is.
Me: Sorry. Have you ever been to Starbucks?
Barista: Yes, but different people mean different things when they say
grande.
Me: Do different people mean different things when they say medium?
Barista: A medium is a medium.
Me: A medium is arbitrary.
Barista:
Me: Can I have my coffee?
dirtbag on the loose!
make sure you knows where your childrens is at
disjointed thoughts from the threshold of a breakdown
There needs to be a .argh! top level domain.
inspirational words
If I can do it so can you, and likely tenfold better.
retarded retards shouldn't instant message
(6:55:47 PM) tim: i dont even like syrup
(6:55:49 PM) tim: but fuck it
(6:55:52 PM) tim: imma tap some trees
(6:55:57 PM) tim: watch that shit drip drip drip
truth in verbose logging
-----
# Run check on contents of backup directory
FILES2=`ls /backup/mysql | wc -l`
if [ FILES2 = 0 ]; then
echo "$NOW - sqldumps from $HOSTN were not successfully written to
/backup/mysql. You are an appalling failure!" >> /var/log/mysqldump.log
else
echo "$NOW - sqldumps from $HOSTN were successfully written to
/backup/mysql. Though files were backed up successfully you are still an
inadequate lover." >> /var/log/mysqldump.log
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Dr. Grypp would like to add...
"AND HAVE WASTED YOUR LIFE."
and perhaps
"YOU KNOW NO ONE RESPECTS YOU OR YOUR WORK, RIGHT??"